Tuesday, March 29, 2016
Tuesday, November 27, 2012
Chapter 1: High School
The first time I had sex I had gotten pregnant from a boy I had known for one day. I was sixteen years old, and he was fifteen. We met on an overnight field trip to Disney World. We were staying in the same hotel and I would see him every morning at the complimentary breakfast table. I was with friends and they all saw him looking at me. I thought it odd for a white boy to be interested in a black girl but hey, the world is changing right? Besides, all of my friends were white at the time.
We decided to invite him to our room, he said he would bring a few friends. Surprising enough, all of his homeboys were black. It was strange because he didn't try to act black, or dress like a rapper or anything. He was himself and I guess that was what attracted me to him. I never told him I was a virgin and he never asked. The girls I were rooming with, Lindsey and Christal were already nose deep in his homeboy's crotches. But they were loose like that. They didn't care who they were fucking. Hell, they allowed the Varsity team to run a train on them just to see how big the head quarterback's dick was. I watched them and wondered what would their parents think? I don't remember them introducing themselves either, but then again, I was preoccupied with my guy.
We start talking, and decide to go on the balcony to give the others some privacy. He asked for my name which I thought was so romantic. He really wanted to get to know me so I told him,
"My name is Sherica, what's yours?"
"Tyler...Tyler James, nice to meet you Sherica. Hmm... I can't really say I have ever met a Sherica before. What does it mean?"
I begin to laugh, "I don't know, I was named after my mom's best friend. I think its made up. My mom's name is Sheryl and her best friend's name is Ericka. My mom had me when she was in high school, so I guess it was the best thing to do at the time."
"Wow, really? So did my mom! She was 14 when I was born. My dad was older, and had served time because she was a minor...and I am not sure I should be telling you this!" He laughs nervously.
" No, you shouldn't but its cool, at leas we have young hot moms! Right?"
"Well, I was raised by my grandparents. My grandmother is more of a mom to me than my own mother. After she had me, she got her GED early and ran off to college. She used to visit when I was younger on holidays but not so much now. But its cool, she is more like an older sister than a mom."
"You got the better deal, its no picnic being raised by a teenager! When my mom got pregnant she actually moved in with the boy that fathered me. He ended up leaving town to follow his dream as a musician right after high school."
Before I could finish talking he puts his hand on my thigh, brushes my hair from my face, looks me in the eyes and says in a soft voice, "You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen."
I don't remember what I said after that or if we said anything at all. I don't know how my clothes came off or how my jeans got on the floor of that balcony. We were kissing, and rubbing, and touching each other in places I only imagined but had never experienced before. I thought about telling him that it was my first time, but I didn't want to spoil the moment. This is what true romance feels like! This is what love feels like! I am in love with...wait, what was his name again? I'll ask him later.
When it was all over, he leaned over and kissed me on the forehead. Was that it? It only lasted for 5 minutes! What happened to the romance? What happened to the feeling I once had before? All I feel now is violated and confused. Then I realized what had happened. I barely knew the guy and I felt that he had taken something from me that I can never get back, my self preservation. I have never felt more vulnerable and exposed. I immediately got dressed, and while doing so I watched him gather his things,
"Sherica, why are you looking at me like that?"
I just stared at him, "Like what?"
"We were just having fun, right? You had fun."
" I don't know what I had, all I know is that I don't have it anymore."
He grabs his shirt from the floor and looks at me, "What do mean.. are you a.. were you a-"
" Don't say it like that as if its some kind of mystery or something, I am only 16, how many girls my age are having sex?" I then look into to the room at Lindsey and Chrystal, passed out on the double beds, their guys are no where to be seen. Virginity is a dying breed especially among teens and I just added to the cliche! Is it too late to recant my statement? What a naive thing to say. I feel so embarrassed.
"Hey you friends are gone, you better catch up with them."
"Yeah, I guess so, can I get your number? Are you from around here? How can I reach you?"
I am not the type to do the random guy hook up thing. This was actually my first time and I definitely wasn't prepared for this! We are total strangers. I don't know where he lives, his phone number, what kind of car he drives, or if he has a car! Hell for all I know he could be 40 years old!
"I am from out of town, but listen, how old are you again?"
He laughs, "Again? You never asked in the first place, but I am 15! How old are you? Besides, isn't it a little late for you to be asking?"
"Isn't it a little late for you to be asking for my phone number? I mean, DUH!"
Wow, way to go Sherica you are robbing the cradle! He is a whole year younger than you! But to my advantage he is taller and more mature for his age, I think. I mean, he was interested in me. That has to count for something. He is cute, oh well, what's done is done.
There was a knock at the door. It was our chaperone doing room checks. Thank god our room was on the bottom floor. I wrote my phone number on his shirt sleeve and hurried him off the balcony deck, just a short drop into some bushes softened his fall. Once I saw that he was safe, I ran into the room, before opening the door I gave a quick scan and noticed Lindsey was stark naked, so I pulled the blanket over her.
The chaperone gave two more knocks before I opened the door. She just looked at me, stepped into the room looked in the bathrooms and under the bed, then told me next time come to the door when she knocks the first time. What a bitch! I slam the door as she steps into the hallway.
Thinking back to that day reminds me of how stupid I was. That boy could have told me anything just to get what he wanted. He could have had AIDS! Be that as it may, I never heard from him again, and I don't know what happened to him. All I know is that he was the father of my child and all I have to go on is a name, and no place to look for him. I guess I should have asked for his number instead.
We decided to invite him to our room, he said he would bring a few friends. Surprising enough, all of his homeboys were black. It was strange because he didn't try to act black, or dress like a rapper or anything. He was himself and I guess that was what attracted me to him. I never told him I was a virgin and he never asked. The girls I were rooming with, Lindsey and Christal were already nose deep in his homeboy's crotches. But they were loose like that. They didn't care who they were fucking. Hell, they allowed the Varsity team to run a train on them just to see how big the head quarterback's dick was. I watched them and wondered what would their parents think? I don't remember them introducing themselves either, but then again, I was preoccupied with my guy.
We start talking, and decide to go on the balcony to give the others some privacy. He asked for my name which I thought was so romantic. He really wanted to get to know me so I told him,
"My name is Sherica, what's yours?"
"Tyler...Tyler James, nice to meet you Sherica. Hmm... I can't really say I have ever met a Sherica before. What does it mean?"
I begin to laugh, "I don't know, I was named after my mom's best friend. I think its made up. My mom's name is Sheryl and her best friend's name is Ericka. My mom had me when she was in high school, so I guess it was the best thing to do at the time."
"Wow, really? So did my mom! She was 14 when I was born. My dad was older, and had served time because she was a minor...and I am not sure I should be telling you this!" He laughs nervously.
" No, you shouldn't but its cool, at leas we have young hot moms! Right?"
"Well, I was raised by my grandparents. My grandmother is more of a mom to me than my own mother. After she had me, she got her GED early and ran off to college. She used to visit when I was younger on holidays but not so much now. But its cool, she is more like an older sister than a mom."
"You got the better deal, its no picnic being raised by a teenager! When my mom got pregnant she actually moved in with the boy that fathered me. He ended up leaving town to follow his dream as a musician right after high school."
Before I could finish talking he puts his hand on my thigh, brushes my hair from my face, looks me in the eyes and says in a soft voice, "You are the most beautiful girl I have ever seen."
I don't remember what I said after that or if we said anything at all. I don't know how my clothes came off or how my jeans got on the floor of that balcony. We were kissing, and rubbing, and touching each other in places I only imagined but had never experienced before. I thought about telling him that it was my first time, but I didn't want to spoil the moment. This is what true romance feels like! This is what love feels like! I am in love with...wait, what was his name again? I'll ask him later.
When it was all over, he leaned over and kissed me on the forehead. Was that it? It only lasted for 5 minutes! What happened to the romance? What happened to the feeling I once had before? All I feel now is violated and confused. Then I realized what had happened. I barely knew the guy and I felt that he had taken something from me that I can never get back, my self preservation. I have never felt more vulnerable and exposed. I immediately got dressed, and while doing so I watched him gather his things,
"Sherica, why are you looking at me like that?"
I just stared at him, "Like what?"
"We were just having fun, right? You had fun."
" I don't know what I had, all I know is that I don't have it anymore."
He grabs his shirt from the floor and looks at me, "What do mean.. are you a.. were you a-"
" Don't say it like that as if its some kind of mystery or something, I am only 16, how many girls my age are having sex?" I then look into to the room at Lindsey and Chrystal, passed out on the double beds, their guys are no where to be seen. Virginity is a dying breed especially among teens and I just added to the cliche! Is it too late to recant my statement? What a naive thing to say. I feel so embarrassed.
"Hey you friends are gone, you better catch up with them."
"Yeah, I guess so, can I get your number? Are you from around here? How can I reach you?"
I am not the type to do the random guy hook up thing. This was actually my first time and I definitely wasn't prepared for this! We are total strangers. I don't know where he lives, his phone number, what kind of car he drives, or if he has a car! Hell for all I know he could be 40 years old!
"I am from out of town, but listen, how old are you again?"
He laughs, "Again? You never asked in the first place, but I am 15! How old are you? Besides, isn't it a little late for you to be asking?"
"Isn't it a little late for you to be asking for my phone number? I mean, DUH!"
Wow, way to go Sherica you are robbing the cradle! He is a whole year younger than you! But to my advantage he is taller and more mature for his age, I think. I mean, he was interested in me. That has to count for something. He is cute, oh well, what's done is done.
There was a knock at the door. It was our chaperone doing room checks. Thank god our room was on the bottom floor. I wrote my phone number on his shirt sleeve and hurried him off the balcony deck, just a short drop into some bushes softened his fall. Once I saw that he was safe, I ran into the room, before opening the door I gave a quick scan and noticed Lindsey was stark naked, so I pulled the blanket over her.
The chaperone gave two more knocks before I opened the door. She just looked at me, stepped into the room looked in the bathrooms and under the bed, then told me next time come to the door when she knocks the first time. What a bitch! I slam the door as she steps into the hallway.
Thinking back to that day reminds me of how stupid I was. That boy could have told me anything just to get what he wanted. He could have had AIDS! Be that as it may, I never heard from him again, and I don't know what happened to him. All I know is that he was the father of my child and all I have to go on is a name, and no place to look for him. I guess I should have asked for his number instead.
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